So Long Bye, Bye!👋🏽 Goodbye to my pain, and my sorrow. So Long Bye, Bye, Byeeeee ✌🏽
If I was a psalmist, I would sing to 2019. How I wish things could have been different. It feels like a hard, long sad year. Even in those feelings God didn’t leave me, he has until this very hour given me the tools I need to make it. 😌 🧗🏾♀️
2019 seemed rough, there was a lot of moments of sadness and depression. A lot of heavy emotions was experienced. That alone can sometimes cloud our vision of how awful the year was. If I put the year into perspective, truly the only thing I lost was relationships. This was the year of experience for me. I had to go through a lot of trials and tribulation. I cannot honestly say alone, but it felt like I was alone. My feelings have been my biggest obstacle this year. The thing I wanted most or seeked from God the most was RELEASE. I was tied up in my feelings, and I wanted freedom. I needed to grow up and face my problems head on. Instead I did the opposite, I embraced the child like behavior of disappointment, and not having my way. I wasn’t getting released, because instead of accepting what God was showing, and telling me. I became rebellious if I didn’t like the problem, or the outcome. “God, you are saying this is wrong, then why won’t you fix it.” And he would answer, then if God did not look like he was moving in the area of concern; I would try to do the fixing myself. So now my situations are getting worse, and the waves of depression are becoming stronger and more frequent. One day I could be fine, then the next three days I am not. I was in this cycle for a few months. I wanted freedom.
Everything is in the past, we are looking to the future.
Listen, I was not meant to live like this. I was ready for to get a break from my own mind, I felt mentally ill.I don’t like that place. God promised me a sound mind, a mind of peace. That place was not of God, it was time to move.
Starting to day, I want to enjoy peace. I want to cast all my cares on Jesus, because he cares for me. The bible is filled with the words Trust in him, and Not to Worry. I have been doing the opposite all this time expecting results. Expecting God to move mountains, but not really believing him enough to take the instructions I was given. I think this is my New Year Resolution. The biggest change I want to make. “To Trust God” Not as a cliche, not as a statement while I am feeling the anointing. (Because we do this a lot) Crying, snoting, convicted, ashamed we make promises to God. In that moment we want to do right. After we leave the church building, not so much. (Let’s take the time to repent for those broken promises we made)
I want to walk in to 2020 different. This is a personal resolution within. Life gets hard, but with God, you can make it “Period“💪🏽🙌🏾 The blessing of 2019 were great, I was just too ungrateful and stuck in my own pity to notice. God is and has been Amazing!
Are you ready for 2020? When WE woke up this morning. God gave us a new start. Let’s change now. Be honest with you past, but don’t let it destroy your hope for the future. Today, I plan to keep the song “Do it Again” by Elevation Worship on repeat. This is my Ode to 2019. 😃😎🤗🙌🏾🙌🏾